Post by Admin on Aug 10, 2015 19:48:45 GMT
This is a side story in Life of Magic dedicated to Elavial's training in controlling her curse (or gift?) of being a sponge to other people's emotions. It starts off on the night of the Welcome Back party.
Elavial entered the common room with Hayley, finding it completely deserted. "I found a book earlier today in the library that could help. The closest definition I could find was 'empathy.' It makes sense, right? The capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another sapient or semi-sapient being." She quoted the definition, having read it countless times already, while she took a step ladder and climbed up the bookshelf.*
"Yeah, it does." Hayley dropped onto an armchair, kicking off her shoes. "Which book?"
*
She slid down the steps with the book in hand. " It's called 'Age of Empaths', I haven't read through it completely, but so far all I have read are symptoms. And can relate to almost all of them." She sat on the floor near Hayls. "It's either this or I'm bi-polar."
She skimmed through the pages, and handed it to Hayls. "Should I just try to pick up on your emotions?"*
"May I read it when you're done?" She read the back of the book, intrigued. "Sounds like as good a place to start as any." Hayley smiled, "If you like, I can try to make it easier for you. Focus on what's strongest, though I warn you it might not be the happiest. I can't lie in my head as well as on my face."*
Elavial hesitated, she hoped that what feelings Hayley was hiding weren't that bad. She then nodded and closed her eyes. She assumed that if she just breathed and let her guard down, the feelings would immediately take over.
It took longer than expected, but eventually she started feeling strange at the pit of her stomach. "Okay..." She didn't know how to start explaining it to Hayley. She started feeling uncomfortable. And worried. "I'm feeling...upset. I feel anxious and uneasy. And..." Another feeling arose. "I feel jealous. Upset. Like something is taken away from me." Keeping her eyes closed, tears started pooling at the corners. "Something I love. I feel hurt. And sad. It's so unfair..." Her voice cracked and she moved away from Hayley.
She felt awful, she covered her mouth as she shuddered a cry. She tried to block it out again, but it was difficult. She breathed, "Does it say there how to make it stop?"*
Hayley felt tears brimming up behind her eyes and she shut them tightly, wondering why she'd offered to help when it was clear she was only hurting. "No, no, I don't...I'm sorry..." She forced herself to focus on Robert, just Robert. Happy things. The truth.
Hayley forced herself to open her eyes again, looking for something help while she thought of good things. "Ela, meditate, block it out."*
Elavial quickly nodded. Out of instinct, she placed her hands against her chest and spoke in between whimpers. "This isn't mine. This isn't mine. This isn't mine. This energy isn't mine. This isn't mine."
Tears still flowed down her cheeks, so she laid down and kept repeating, "This isn't mine. This energy isn't mine. This isn't mine."
She knew she looked silly and she didn't know if it was working or not, but she repeated this until she stopped crying. After taking a couple of breaths, she opened her eyes. "I still feel sad. But, I stopped crying. So that's a start."
She looked over at Hayls, concerned. "How long have you felt like this?"*
Hayley shrugged. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'm just, sometimes I can't help it." She forced a smile, taking her memory back to the room of requirement, to being held and told that she could't be forgotten. "Are you going to be alright? I'm thinking of good things now, does that help?"*
Hayley had evaded the question and just gave her an 'I'm fine.' Elavial gave her a look. "There's no point in lying to me now, Hayls. I know what I felt. You're not fine."
Elavial sat back up, feeling lightheaded. "Yeah. Blimey, this is going to be difficult." She placed her hands on her temples.
"Do you want to talk about it?"*
Hayley still focused on the feeling of being loved, trying to help Ela feel better. "It's the same old story, nothing to fret over."She gave a half smile. "This gift of yours is something, isn't it. I'll try to be more careful with what I focus on around you. Work our way up to the stronger emotions then."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that on you"*
Hayley had avoided talking about what she felt again. Feeling better, Elavial shook her head. "It's alright. Neither of us knew." She stood up and debated on whether to keep her distance or not. She wanted to sit in a seat across from Hayley, but decided against it. She needed to control it, whatever it was and she couldn't do that by being cautious or just running away. So sat right next to her.
"Hayls..." she started. "I want to respect your decision in keeping what you truly feel locked away. Maybe because you don't trust me enough or because nowadays even the walls have ears. But, trust me when I say that I'm not going to feel better until I can help, in someway."
She decided not to linger on the subject anymore and keep practicing. "Well, it seems I only latch onto negative emotions. Can we try focusing on positive ones?"
Just as she said that she heard voices outside, trying to figure out Arnold's riddle. "The party can't be over already."*
"I trust you, it's just, not here." She smiled again, patting Ela's arm, "thank you though. She turned, looking at the entryway. "No, you're right, it's much too early....want to find someplace else...the dorms are empty I bet."*
Elavial and Hayley went up to the dorms to practice some more, but they didn't make much progress. The night went on, and more people went up into their dorms, making it almost impossible for Elavial to focus. It got to the point where Elavial was more exhausted trying to focus on just Hayley, than blocking her out. They called it a night.
Practicing went on for the next few months, yet almost all with the same results. Between schoolwork and finding an isolated, safe place, the time spent was minimal. Everywhere they tried to practice had, what Elavial started calling, "Soup". (Sudden Obstruction of Unstable People).
With November coming around the corner, they both felt like they hadn't made much progress at all. With hope slowly diminishing, Hayley suggested a place only she knew about. Elavial wondered why she hadn't mentioned it before, but accepted to meet with her there since it was unlikely they'd find somewhere else soon.
Elavial waited until the common room emptied out and everyone had gone to sleep. She took her rucksack with the same things she carried to every few practices. The "Age of Empaths" book, now with doggy-eared pages and notes written on the border of most of them, a small journal, documenting every failure or improvement since the night of the party, feverfew herbs to chew on when a headache emerged, and a few other herbs, such as avena for the mental fog, lemon balm and chamomile for angry moods, etc.
Elavial followed the directions Hayley had provided, cautiously avoiding SOUP's, and found herself in a remote part of the castle which was eerily quiet and waited for Hayley to arrive.*
"Hey." Hayley appeared from around the corner, hood up again, still hiding the bruises from Halloween. Not that people hadn't already seen, it just made her more comfortable. The marks had faded almost completely, but she was still nervous about it. Caleb had developed a habit of waving cheerfully at her and helping her with her things afters some classes. It made her nervous, the way he looked at her.
But for now those thoughts were far away, and she was focusing on happier things. She'd found that it helped Ela if her thoughts weren't dark, and that it helped her if she took the time to think ahead. There was a tinge of nervousness there. She knew he had said it was okay, but what if Ela found out about him? It wasn't safe for him as it was....but, there wasn't anyplace else.
"It's through here," she held aside a tapestry depicting a witch casting illusion into the sky. Random waves of light and color were erupting from the witch's wand and floating around her. Hayley rather liked it. "Just, uh, when we get to the top let me go in first alright, I just need to...well, anyway...Lumos." Her wand tip ignited and she stepped through the door and into the staircase.*
Right when she felt was starting to feel tinge uneasy, Hayley popped up from around the corner. It was kind of hard to explain, but the more they practiced together, the more connected she felt with Hayls. Elavial could just effortlessly feel her presence if Hayley was nearby.
Elavial slowly nodded and lit up her own wand, climbing the stairs behind her. "How have you been?"*
Elavial entered the common room with Hayley, finding it completely deserted. "I found a book earlier today in the library that could help. The closest definition I could find was 'empathy.' It makes sense, right? The capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another sapient or semi-sapient being." She quoted the definition, having read it countless times already, while she took a step ladder and climbed up the bookshelf.*
"Yeah, it does." Hayley dropped onto an armchair, kicking off her shoes. "Which book?"
*
She slid down the steps with the book in hand. " It's called 'Age of Empaths', I haven't read through it completely, but so far all I have read are symptoms. And can relate to almost all of them." She sat on the floor near Hayls. "It's either this or I'm bi-polar."
She skimmed through the pages, and handed it to Hayls. "Should I just try to pick up on your emotions?"*
"May I read it when you're done?" She read the back of the book, intrigued. "Sounds like as good a place to start as any." Hayley smiled, "If you like, I can try to make it easier for you. Focus on what's strongest, though I warn you it might not be the happiest. I can't lie in my head as well as on my face."*
Elavial hesitated, she hoped that what feelings Hayley was hiding weren't that bad. She then nodded and closed her eyes. She assumed that if she just breathed and let her guard down, the feelings would immediately take over.
It took longer than expected, but eventually she started feeling strange at the pit of her stomach. "Okay..." She didn't know how to start explaining it to Hayley. She started feeling uncomfortable. And worried. "I'm feeling...upset. I feel anxious and uneasy. And..." Another feeling arose. "I feel jealous. Upset. Like something is taken away from me." Keeping her eyes closed, tears started pooling at the corners. "Something I love. I feel hurt. And sad. It's so unfair..." Her voice cracked and she moved away from Hayley.
She felt awful, she covered her mouth as she shuddered a cry. She tried to block it out again, but it was difficult. She breathed, "Does it say there how to make it stop?"*
Hayley felt tears brimming up behind her eyes and she shut them tightly, wondering why she'd offered to help when it was clear she was only hurting. "No, no, I don't...I'm sorry..." She forced herself to focus on Robert, just Robert. Happy things. The truth.
Hayley forced herself to open her eyes again, looking for something help while she thought of good things. "Ela, meditate, block it out."*
Elavial quickly nodded. Out of instinct, she placed her hands against her chest and spoke in between whimpers. "This isn't mine. This isn't mine. This isn't mine. This energy isn't mine. This isn't mine."
Tears still flowed down her cheeks, so she laid down and kept repeating, "This isn't mine. This energy isn't mine. This isn't mine."
She knew she looked silly and she didn't know if it was working or not, but she repeated this until she stopped crying. After taking a couple of breaths, she opened her eyes. "I still feel sad. But, I stopped crying. So that's a start."
She looked over at Hayls, concerned. "How long have you felt like this?"*
Hayley shrugged. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'm just, sometimes I can't help it." She forced a smile, taking her memory back to the room of requirement, to being held and told that she could't be forgotten. "Are you going to be alright? I'm thinking of good things now, does that help?"*
Hayley had evaded the question and just gave her an 'I'm fine.' Elavial gave her a look. "There's no point in lying to me now, Hayls. I know what I felt. You're not fine."
Elavial sat back up, feeling lightheaded. "Yeah. Blimey, this is going to be difficult." She placed her hands on her temples.
"Do you want to talk about it?"*
Hayley still focused on the feeling of being loved, trying to help Ela feel better. "It's the same old story, nothing to fret over."She gave a half smile. "This gift of yours is something, isn't it. I'll try to be more careful with what I focus on around you. Work our way up to the stronger emotions then."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that on you"*
Hayley had avoided talking about what she felt again. Feeling better, Elavial shook her head. "It's alright. Neither of us knew." She stood up and debated on whether to keep her distance or not. She wanted to sit in a seat across from Hayley, but decided against it. She needed to control it, whatever it was and she couldn't do that by being cautious or just running away. So sat right next to her.
"Hayls..." she started. "I want to respect your decision in keeping what you truly feel locked away. Maybe because you don't trust me enough or because nowadays even the walls have ears. But, trust me when I say that I'm not going to feel better until I can help, in someway."
She decided not to linger on the subject anymore and keep practicing. "Well, it seems I only latch onto negative emotions. Can we try focusing on positive ones?"
Just as she said that she heard voices outside, trying to figure out Arnold's riddle. "The party can't be over already."*
"I trust you, it's just, not here." She smiled again, patting Ela's arm, "thank you though. She turned, looking at the entryway. "No, you're right, it's much too early....want to find someplace else...the dorms are empty I bet."*
Elavial and Hayley went up to the dorms to practice some more, but they didn't make much progress. The night went on, and more people went up into their dorms, making it almost impossible for Elavial to focus. It got to the point where Elavial was more exhausted trying to focus on just Hayley, than blocking her out. They called it a night.
Practicing went on for the next few months, yet almost all with the same results. Between schoolwork and finding an isolated, safe place, the time spent was minimal. Everywhere they tried to practice had, what Elavial started calling, "Soup". (Sudden Obstruction of Unstable People).
With November coming around the corner, they both felt like they hadn't made much progress at all. With hope slowly diminishing, Hayley suggested a place only she knew about. Elavial wondered why she hadn't mentioned it before, but accepted to meet with her there since it was unlikely they'd find somewhere else soon.
Elavial waited until the common room emptied out and everyone had gone to sleep. She took her rucksack with the same things she carried to every few practices. The "Age of Empaths" book, now with doggy-eared pages and notes written on the border of most of them, a small journal, documenting every failure or improvement since the night of the party, feverfew herbs to chew on when a headache emerged, and a few other herbs, such as avena for the mental fog, lemon balm and chamomile for angry moods, etc.
Elavial followed the directions Hayley had provided, cautiously avoiding SOUP's, and found herself in a remote part of the castle which was eerily quiet and waited for Hayley to arrive.*
"Hey." Hayley appeared from around the corner, hood up again, still hiding the bruises from Halloween. Not that people hadn't already seen, it just made her more comfortable. The marks had faded almost completely, but she was still nervous about it. Caleb had developed a habit of waving cheerfully at her and helping her with her things afters some classes. It made her nervous, the way he looked at her.
But for now those thoughts were far away, and she was focusing on happier things. She'd found that it helped Ela if her thoughts weren't dark, and that it helped her if she took the time to think ahead. There was a tinge of nervousness there. She knew he had said it was okay, but what if Ela found out about him? It wasn't safe for him as it was....but, there wasn't anyplace else.
"It's through here," she held aside a tapestry depicting a witch casting illusion into the sky. Random waves of light and color were erupting from the witch's wand and floating around her. Hayley rather liked it. "Just, uh, when we get to the top let me go in first alright, I just need to...well, anyway...Lumos." Her wand tip ignited and she stepped through the door and into the staircase.*
Right when she felt was starting to feel tinge uneasy, Hayley popped up from around the corner. It was kind of hard to explain, but the more they practiced together, the more connected she felt with Hayls. Elavial could just effortlessly feel her presence if Hayley was nearby.
Elavial slowly nodded and lit up her own wand, climbing the stairs behind her. "How have you been?"*